the new year awaits

normally i make a new years resolution but thats never worked in the past. this year im just going to continue being who i am. if at one point during this year i want to change something about myself or my habits then i will. i dont need to make pointless promises that i will break at the start of a year. its simply another day in my life. life is a continuous circle with no beginning or end. why make such a huge deal about the “start” of the year when in reality its just another day. it is only the “beginning of a year” because the gregorian calendar tells us it is.

ok on with what i wanted to say lol im done ranting about the calendar. in the past ive wished to be in a relationship. im 21 years old and ive never been on a real date before. i dont know what its like to have a significant other in my life. i have my family and my best friends and i thank God everyday for having them in my life but sometimes i still feel lonely. i dont even know the feeling of just being able to call my boyfriend just to say “hey babe how was your day?” i mean its the little things that get to me. just knowing i have someone else to rely on and count on because they love me would be such an amazing feeling.

but im not one for complaining (normally) so i’ll stop that rant lol. lately ive been confused about my dreams and what i want to do. i mean i love my majors and i dont want to change that but future wise i dont know what i want to do. part of my wants to go to grad school and study linguistics and just do research but another part of me wants to just start my credentials to be an elementary school teacher. i love kids. and ive always wanted to help kids in any way that i can. and the only way i know i can help them is by teaching them. giving them the power of education. but more importantly i want to focus on kids that belong to military families. ever since my cousin joined the marines ive had this need to help military families. something in my heart is telling me that i need to help the kids that go through so much in their lives. they need guidance and a teacher that will really connect with them and care about them. someone else they can rely on while their parent(s) are away at war or on a mission. and i want to be that person. i mean eventually i will settle down in a small town, buy a house, have my kids to raise and a husband to look after, but im young and im not looking into settling down any time soon. but i dont know. i really really love studying the romantic languages and i can make a difference in any career i choose because its not the career that determines whether you make a difference, its the person.

anyways my fingers are starting to hurt. and i think i just confused myself even more hahaha. its ok though at least i got some of those wondering questions out of my head. until next time

xoxoxox

~the real journey begins

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About pensivenightowl

A recent college graduate, I am now figuring out what it's really like to be an adult. I am starting my new journey doing what I love to do most. Time to live !
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